Reviews, Recipes, and Random Slices of Life

Circus of Brass and Bone Writing Log



New words: 164
Total words: 164
Overused word: smelled
Gratuitous word: fathoms
Type of scene: the opening
Challenge(s): Fighting off the backstory hobgoblins.
Which line is it anyways? The first one: The night the ringmaster died, so did the world.
Notes: Beginning a story is rough. I am not ashamed of this wordcount. Okay, just a little.
Other writingy stuff:

And...catching up on posting writing logs....

08/08/10, Sunday, extra hours working from home on day job project
* Finished working out the plot and began actual writing on "The Circus of Brass and Bone."

08/07/10, Saturday
* Balancing a character's pain: http://www.apexbookcompany.com/2010/08/slush-lessons-balancing-pain%E2%80%94things-to-consider-when-throwing-rocks-at-your-character/

08/03/10
* Responded to agent partial request for Vicesteed.
* Wrote up and posted CONvergence notes, except for profanity panel.

07/30/10, Family reunion
* Wrote 2 pgs on "Remediation Village" while listening to family meeting updates.

07/22/10, Thursday, extra hours on day job project
* Posted freewriting, writing log.
* Heretic's Hope, beg. 10:10, 21,310 words - end

I've been working on a day job project for full-time+ for the last week (no weekend for me, alas), so I haven't gotten much writing stuff done. Except no work today. Blissful productive freedom! Scary beginning projects! Lots of writing stuff (hopefully--except I already spent the morning paying bills).

07/12/10, Monday
* Assembled ("wrote" doesn't feel like the right verb) "Magic Blue Pill For Cure Cancer." Yes, it's the spam headlines story. Thanks to everybody who shared their spam!
* Writing and a Faith Perspective: http://www.apexbookcompany.com/blog/2010/07/on-faith-and-friction/

07/11/10, Sunday
* Attended MinnSpec writing workshops.

07/08/10, Thursday
* Posted writing log, freewriting.
* Re-read Tree of Life in preparation for writing on it again. Ulp.
* What 81% of Agents Expect on the First Page (funny): http://stiryourtea.blogspot.com/2010/06/what-81-of-agents-expect-on-first-page.html
* Why Smart Characters Make Dumb Mistakes: http://www.plottopunctuation.com/blog/show/why-smart-characters-make-dumb-mistakes
* Writing Realistic Injuries: www.users.totalise.co.uk/~leiafee/ramblings/realistic_injuries.htm

07/05/10, Monday, no work (4th of July observed!)
* Queried last 2 agents on my A-list for Vicesteed. Now I'm done with Vicesteed until I hear back from somebody, or at least for a couple of months--at which point it'll be time to query my next batch of preferred agents. Whew! Also, this feels so weird!
* Submitted "Demons of Disease" to Bizarro Magazine.
* Submitted "Gone Huntin'" to Flash Me Magazine.
* Submitted "Good Help Is Hard to Find" to Title Goes Here.
* Submitted "Look Back to Keep Her" to Flash Fiction Online.
* Submitted "Road of Dreams" to Neo-Opsis
* Read WritersMarket and Duotrope newsletters and updated market list from them.
* Nonstandard Structure: http://mrissa.livejournal.com/727223.html

Tried to see where I could send "Salvaging Scottwell" next--and blanched at the lack of options for an 11,000 word reprint. Yoiks. Well, I'll Escape Pod it even though it's longer than they usually take, but beyond that...hrm. It's a really good story (other people think so too!) but what to do with it? Small press publication as a novella? Is that too short? (Ideas, mmeriam?)

It is odd how one remembers the different and unique words linked with a particular scene. When looking for a particular fight scene, I know that the keyword to search for is "giraffe." I am amused.

So, in Vicesteed, lo those many chapters ago, there was a long and protracted scene about how much the Valinda hated silk stockings because they reminded her of her sensorium treatments. And it recurred a couple of times later, plus there was some feedback about how she wore the sensorium stockings and gloves for the finale. I checked the last scene and it didn't seem to matter for anything real, so I took all the references out.

Now I'm actually revising the ending, and it turns out that yes, it was a key motivational thing that I need to keep. Damn it.

Or...maybe I can just have the sound of a gunshot serve instead? Ooh. That could work...

But then I have to explain other stuff. Which I would anyway, I guess....

It's been brought to my attention that my 1st draft query has, er, a first paragraph sucks* problem.

[Poll #1579710]

Original:
Valinda only remembers life as a vicesteed, living in a theme park of depravity where her experiences are broadcast to a discerning audience. One of her scripted experiences goes wrong, leaving the other vicesteed severely injured. During the routine clinic visit afterwards, she overhears a plan to wipe out her memory--again. Using the augments she's been given to survive being a vicesteed, she breaks out and flees. She finds herself in an unfamiliar Victorian world where she must fight to find out who she was, who took away her memories, and what she really did in her role as a vicesteed.

Revision:
Valinda's only memories are of life as a vicesteed, living in a theme park that recreates the vices of decadent, evil Old Earth while her experiences are broadcast to an audience unknown to her. One of her scripted experiences goes wrong, leaving the other vicesteed dying at her feet. During the clinic visit afterwards, she overhears a plan to wipe out her memory--again. Using the augmented strength and speed she's been given, she breaks out and flees. She plunges forward into an unfamiliar Victorian world where she'll kick as much ass as necessary to find out who she was, who took away her memories, and what she really did in her role as a vicesteed.

Variant:
Valinda's only memories are of life as a vicesteed, a person who enacts dangerous or taboo scenarios and has their sensations transmitted to an unknown audience. She lives inside a theme park that recreates evil Old Earth in the 21st century, but she believes that this is how the world really is. At least, she does until one of her scripted experiences goes wrong, leaving the other vicesteed dying at her feet. [Then the same as the rewrite version.]



* Phil used other terminology. If you know Phil, you can probably guess what. He was not the only one commenting, he just said it most bluntly.

Any volunteers to critique the Vicesteed summary? No prior Vicesteed knowledge required. It'll be about five pages double-spaced, and I'd like critiques back within a couple of days. If so, respond with your email in the screened comments below.

So, this is the rough draft for my query letter. Suggestions are absolutely 100% welcome! No previous knowledge of Vicesteed required.

Dear [Agent]:

Valinda only remembers life as a vicesteed, living in a theme park of depravity where her experiences are broadcast to a discerning audience. One of her scripted experiences goes wrong, leaving the other vicesteed severely injured. During the routine clinic visit afterwards, she overhears a plan to wipe out her memory--again. Using the augments she's been given to survive being a vicesteed, she breaks out and flees. She finds herself in an unfamiliar Victorian world where she must fight to find out who she was, who took away her memories, and what she really did in her role as a vicesteed.

Rosemary is a gently bred young lady with an unfeminine inclination to build clockwork automata and dangerous ties to an anti-homechulus rebel underground. Troubled by what she experienced during sensorium treatments for her unfeminine inclinations, she seems to be easy prey for a charismatic rebel leader who plans an explosion to weaken the monarchy.

Quincy is hired to investigate the sudden, mysterious illness and eventual death of the Prince Consort. The answer lies with these two very different women. To find it, he'll have to rise to investigate a conspiracy at the highest levels, and he'll have to sink deep into a dark underbelly where the poor are put in workhouses to fuel homechuli, the artificial intelligences that the society depends upon.

Vicesteed is a steampunk, locked-room murder mystery.

I have had short stories accepted at publications including Jim Baen's Universe, Art Times, Allegory, and Strange, Weird, and Wonderful Magazine. I also maintain Aswiebe's Market List, a resource for science fiction, fantasy, and horror writers.

Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely,

Abra Staffin-Wiebe
[contact info]

05/27/10, Thursday
Goals status: 4 days into goals
- on track for Vicesteed at partway through making editing changes for ch. 31
- a little behind on Alien/Whore/Mother.
- Nowhere remotely near on "Remediation Village" or whatever it ends up being called. Doubt I'll get it done for crit meeting. Might get it written and edited before submissions deadline, but it's going to be one of those "please crit it?" sort of deals.

* Posted writing logs.
* Finished redmarking Vicesteed ch. 31 and got partway into making editing changes.
* Redmarked through the beginning on pg. 4 on Alien/Whore/Mother. As much fun as banging my head against the wall.

It's funny. Usually this much stuff done would mean I'd had an okay, if not great, day. But because I have higher goals, it means it's a not-good-enough day. This isn't actually a bad thing in terms of me getting more done, though. Unfortunately, when it comes to writing, I'm more of a stick than a carrot sort of girl.