abracanabra: (Default)
The beginning of "Ekaterina and the Firebird:"
Ekaterina's seventeenth birthday ball would be completely overshadowed by the adventures that followed: seeing the Firebird and chasing it into Chyorniy Forest, being treed by wolves, nearly splitting open Nikolai's skull with a tree branch, discovering that everything she believed herself to be was a lie, and being told the truth about the family curse. She did not know that yet, however. As she bid their guests farewell, she was filled with a mixture of elation at the success of her ball and sadness that nothing more interesting would happen to her for years.


Now that's what I call a first sentence.
abracanabra: (Let Me Tell You a Story)
My short fantasy science fiction story, "A Phoenix By Any Other Name," is now up at Short-Story.me! and you can go there to read it for free. This is an older story of mine that I revamped and sent out, and I'm quite pleased it's found a home.

Excerpt:

"I need a creature that none have seen, and it should be wild and impressive to the eye. It must be perfect. I am hosting a party, and I intend it to be an occasion that people will speak of for months. It occurred to me that a live, exotic creature would add a touch of novelty." Lupant looked down his nose at his surroundings, as if doubting such a thing could be found here.

"Certainly, sir," Bruant said. "Let me show you our stock." He gestured to the store window, where two rigid gray lizards balanced upright on the tips of their tails, their eyes closed, their forelegs crossed over their chests. "These tomb-lizards are from the planet Cassial. They are known as tomb-lizards because of the resemblance between their dormant state and gravestones: the gray color, the posture--"

"Do they do anything interesting?"

Bruant blinked. "Every half-hour, they revive, change to their normal color, and run around frantically for about ten minutes."
"In other words, no."

Read more.
abracanabra: (Let Me Tell You a Story)


Go to Baen's Universe to read "Salvaging Scottwell," my story about an obsolete police dog robot that gets an upgrade with unintended consequences to the Powers That Be: http://baens-universe...

Excerpt:

Max woke up inside his kennel, unplugged his tail from the wall, and ran an automatic systems check. Recharging his battery had taken a half-hour longer than last month. He connected to the BigDog network so that he could send an error report about the battery. The automated reply told him that his error report had been filed, and a handler would contact him if any further action was required. The last handler contact recorded in Max's memory log was three years old.

He limped to the door of the jailhouse. His right third leg had broken down two years ago. It had taken three weeks for his movement pattern to functionally reform, but he still limped. His speed was a fraction of his original specifications. His right second leg couldn't provide the same motive power. It had been designed for stability, not speed.

He stepped out into Scottwell neighborhood to begin his patrol. His tail wagged once. Scottwell was more than just the neighborhood that he guarded; it was as much a part of him as his paws. When he kept himself and his neighborhood protected and well-maintained, he was a Good Boy.

His tail drooped. He hadn't been a Good Boy for a long time.

Read more.
abracanabra: (Let Me Tell You a Story)
Many years ago, I wrote this story called, "And the Dog Died." (I'll give you three guesses what happens to the dog.) A few months ago, I went through all my old stories and decided if they were worth salvaging. This one was, I thought. It just needed a general overhaul and a new, less didactic, showing-not-telling ending. Yesterday, I wrote that ending.

Would anybody be interested in critiquing/editing it? It's quite short, about a page and a half. It's a cautionary science fiction story. I warn you that it's not my best work, but I think it's worth saving anyhow.

Excerpt:
"Clara ought to be home by now, an' my daughter. Was I wrong t'say she couldn't marry Jack? Naw. He's a Negro. Didn't obey me though. I got me a granddaughter, half Negro.

"Well, I let my daughter come to our mountain, didn't I? So what if I didn't let Jack come? He's a Negro." The old man lay on the bed, rambling.

The scrawny dog on the floor lifted his head and whined. The man smelled of death. It was the same death-smell that the dog had smelled outside in the air. A cute baby girl with a fuzz of black curls and long-lashed black eyes waved her tiny fists in the corner of the bunker.
abracanabra: (Default)
Saturday
Went to Cahoots. Rejoiced in not having work this weekend. Indulged in a pot of tea.

Made editing changes to a super-old story that I'm trying to salvage--Health. I have this inability to ever throw away anything I've written. I always think I can make it better and sell it. I usually can make it better, but whether it's at all salable remains to be seen.

Made editing changes to chapter 1 of Vicesteed, deleting vast swaths and entirely redoing the first chapter. I don't know why I ever thought it was a good idea to open a book with an attempted-rape scene plus some weird fake-incest headfuck warping. So wrong. A brutal beating is much better! I really have No Idea what I was thinking. It isn't required for the plot, it's something that will immediately turn a number of readers off, and it's something that I, personally, have a great distaste for.

Finishing the edit of that chapter was a really wonderful thing. It was a ton easier than I'd feared. The fear of it has been keeping me from starting to edit Vicesteed for months and months. It was a huge roadblock that I wasn't getting past. I was practically euphoric when I finished it.

Here's the new first chapter. )

I'm still planning on expanding the fight scene a little to add more drama, but that needs to percolate a little first. And one of my big questions for the whole book is whether I'm going to keep the conceit of the wisdom chip or delete it entirely.

The new chapter is three pages long. The new "deleted scenes" file? Six pages long.

A few deleted scenes. )

Sunday
Due to various delightful diversions and social engagements, I didn't actually get much done. Le shrug.
[livejournal.com profile] penthius freewriting - "Under the Temple: Science Fiction"
Updated markets spreadsheet from Critters note.
Submitted "Serenade of Blood & Silver" queries to agents--another project I have been neglecting shamefully, also against my principles of "first do that which must wait on others."
abracanabra: (Default)
Whew! Finally finished cleaning this up to a reasonable "will let others critique now" level. And am now looking for others to critique! Note: this one does have a deadline, so I'd need the critique back in about a week. Oh, and it's a straight-up high fantasy story about a thief who gets a bit more than she bargains for. But whether or not you're interested in critiquing, here's a nice excerpt for your reading pleasure:
Even as a little girl, Vole had been different than the others. It didn't matter if she hid her toes from sight. It didn't matter that her skin was the same dusty brown and her hair the same dark brown as everybody else in the village. The difference was on the inside. She didn't see things the same way as everyone else. If she was hungry, she saw no reason that she should not steal another child's dinner, no matter how much they cried. She never felt guilty, no matter what she did.

As she grew older, Vole watched others and developed a set of rules to keep herself out of trouble: not stealing when others could catch her; not hurting people or animals in the same place that she lived; smiling; saying hello; apologizing and looking sad when she upset somebody; remembering the names and details of those people that she saw often; memorizing and abiding by the rules of politeness in each place that she lived; and keeping herself as respectable-looking as she could. Small children and animals still shied away from her, but she could fool most people...even if she had not been able to fool the Nameless God.

Now she had followers of another god to contend with. The clatter of the monks' sandals was growing louder behind her. She sped her run up to a sprint, going for speed instead of distance. As Vole ran through the maze of alleys and footpaths and meditative walks that stitched together the temples of Horol's Holy District, her eyes flicked over her surroundings.

She hadn't expected such quick and vigorous pursuit. It was just her luck that the monks were of the "training the body as a tool to train the mind" sort instead of the "sit around illuminating manuscripts all day" sort.

It wasn't even as if she'd stolen an idol of their god; she couldn't have lifted the pony-sized carving of the jade frog if she'd tried. When she'd slipped into the Sheng-tsai temple with worshippers attending for the afternoon prayers, she'd been relieved that the client had only wanted the small, squat black idol hidden behind a jumble of incense, dried flowers, and dangling prayer flags. She'd slipped it into the bag tied to her belt and hoped that its loss wouldn't be noticed until long after she'd left. It hadn't worked out that way.
abracanabra: (tea ring)
Writing Project Completed
Project Finished: "The Unkindness of Ravens"
Summary: A high fantasy coming-of-age story. While the kingdom is at war, the next monarch must be chosen. Albin, royal heir of House Crow, is forced to flee to save his life. While in hiding, he loses his eye, earns a favor from his god, and has to pretend to be a member of the untouchable caste.
Inspiration: This [livejournal.com profile] penthius freewriting exercise.
Soundtrack: Wagner's "Siegfried" - yes, opera.
Date Project Started: 12/15/2005 - that was when I started doing research.
First Draft Wordcount: 17,616 words
Final Wordcount: 15,543 words
Major Editing Changes: I added in a fair amount more description of the surroundings, removed one scene entirely, and expanded the ending.
Markets: I wrote this specifically for the Blood and Devotion Anthology. That's not my usual way of operating, but I had an idea that I'd tagged as "high potential" that seemed to fit the guidelines admirably. If it isn't accepted, the length of this story will make it a difficult sell. Not a few of the critiquers said, "You should make this into a novel!" Chirpy fuckers.
Notes: If necessary to get a few more markets for this project, I could probably shorten this by removing the inn scene.
Excerpt )
abracanabra: (Default)
This scene in Vicesteed describes the dress that one of my main characters is wearing to a costume ball. The dress design is somewhat important, though I may condense the description in revision. However, I'd really appreciate it if you costume-maker types (I know you're on my friends list) would read through this and correct any problems or suggest improvements. The costume is for a sylph of the sea of stars (aka space), made in the Victorian style.

Thanks!

Sea of Stars Dress )

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