Things not needed the night before a long drive in to Chicago and a 3-day weekend with family wedding:

Main sewer line backing up into the basement.

Phil says we'll just bloody well have to fix it when we get back.



Edited to add: That solution was unacceptable to me, so I called out Roto-Rooter and stayed up way too late so that they could fix it last night. Yaawwwwn.